Cafe Culture Connoisseur Pillows

"The end is near."

Wifi in Hell

Narpkins

Business is down 35 percent this week. What's going on? You booted Randy out of the cafe. He's a freeloader. How can business be down? He's a draw. Women come in to gawk and then order food. He gives counseling services to everyone. And, of course, the cage matches. What? I wrestle him out back. We get a big crowd. Wonderful gambling action. Conundrum! What to do? Ask Randy. He's giving advice and wrestling over at Coffee King.

"Mobile phones and cappuchinos have destroyed fairyland forever."

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Wifi in Hell

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Hats and Food

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Yummy Mummies

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

National Coffee Day

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

The Kali De Milo.

'How would you like your toast?'

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

"I can't wait for things to get back to normal."

What's the insect de jour?

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

Chinese History: Redwash

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'