Cafe Chaos Enthusiast Gifts

I need a sample of your DNA. Bug off, greed ball. Someone stole a pastry. I have a right to police my own cafe. Oh, fine. Here's some DNA. Splat! Nice aim. This does not happen on CSI!!

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Multi-tasking.

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Kiss the Commander in Chef

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

'The part I love is when they come home and say 'WHO did this?. . .'

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Unrest Area.

"Hell: The Airport"

Rats deserting a sinking ship

A doorman fires a gun into the air.

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

City centre pub.

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

Chaos Theory Conference.

Recipes.

"You stop it, now!"

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

"What?"

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

Extreme Birthdays.