Café Socialites T-Shirts

'I mean, the place went silent when I ordered decaf.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Ignoring your workmates is NOT a breach of the new antisocial behaviour laws."