Cable News Warrior Pillows

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"If we gave them press freedom they'd only want democracy too..."

Classic News.

A Journalist's Weapons

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

The sofa freshly made up...

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

The Art of Bantering!

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

'Has the news finished yet?'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

"And that's tonight's news. . . now for tonight's news rebuttal from Trump."

The Ekert Saga: 'Whoa...you really like cable news, eh, Ekert?'

"The President said he hoped the bill would receive broad bipartisan support from within the Democratic Party."

Fake news on social media

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."

"I publish unfettered on the web."

'I can't remember for the life of me why I came upstairs.'

"ER says she was Googling diseases."

Glenn Beck! First time caller!

Online chat

"I'm afraid George won't be in today. He's about to get a repetitive strain injury."

"I'm concerned about the kids diet."

"Bless this mess: The beautifully tangled reasons you *still* wear wired headphones"

"Getting my daily news fix."

'Whoa!.. No wonder they think that video games are bad for us!'