Buying A Second Home Gifts

"That's why I come here for the weekends - 127 acres."

"I like our place in the country, but the only dogs I enjoy hanging out with there are also up from the city."

"I hope we last long enough to get a turn at despising some new people ourselves."

“If I buy this sweater, we’ll also have to buy a rustic little place upstate.”

"The city life isn't for everyone, so my second house is in the Hamptons."

"I just built me a summer home up north."

Home Sweet Second Home.

'Sir, your poll numbers are slipping with the crucial 3-car garage second-home buyers. They say you lack curb appeal.'

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"First time pruning?"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

I did it my way.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'