Buying A Penthouse T-Shirts

'The views are great but the celebrity neighbours are too damn noisy.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'If I lived there, the first thing I'd do is have my head examined.'

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'It's like having our own private luxury box in the game of life.'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

Evergreen Estates

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"I used to live here. Now I make a fortune renting it out on Airbnb."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

Money feeds tree of property

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

"I've just been gazumped!"

"We've never regretted relocating to California!"