Buying A Condo Gifts

"Well, kids, mom and I finally bought a condo on a golf course!"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Your Future Home.

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."