Busybody Critic Pillows

ENT Hospital.

$1: Family Secrets

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

The economy doctor

The End is Near art gallery opening.

'Well, what office doesn't have a little mess.'

"It seems the broadness of your mind and the narrowness of your waist have changed places."

"You forgot his tail."

Snuggie of Turin

"Excuse me...is there a dressing room with a slimming mirror and soft light..."

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

'You've got her on 16.5 zoom and it's not good.'

"Our house wine is abominable."

'Listen, I'm grateful to be alive at all, I just think it's shoddy work...I mean, would it have killed him to make the bolts flush with my neck?'

Two kids caught playing dots & boxes on a Damien Hirst painting, spelling the word 'so-so'.

Back seat race car drivers.

"Thank YOU Amazon!"

"I've never seen anyone actually implode before."

"You can't just work all the time, you need to find a hobby..."

The creation of the first size OO woman.

Bourgeois Man and his ceaseless mission to tell everyone else how to live.

'I'd like a newspaper with no car, house or mobile phone adverts in it.'

"I hereby empower you, Ambrose T. Wilkins, to water my plans. And let's hear no more talk about how I never delegate authority."

NON-TATTOOED Wonder

I've already fetched it three times --- This is just make-work, isn't it?

"New Scotland Yard."

'This exercise machine does away with the pretense of a working out. It features a dozen hooks for a hanging clothing.'

"I get no kick from champagne."

The True Meaning Of Shopping.

Learner Drivers

Pardon me, sir, do you know how you're being lied to today? Not before my coffee. That's not coffee. Huh? It's watered-down coffee mixed with red dye made of crushed beetles, to make it appear richer. You're drinking beetle juice! I feel like streaming a movie, for some reason.

"Push it a little more to the right. A little more. Right there. Perfect."

'Wish kids would just bin their bubble gum!' (PAVEMENT COVERED IN BUBBLES)