Busy Work Critic T-Shirts

"I hereby empower you, Ambrose T. Wilkins, to water my plans. And let's hear no more talk about how I never delegate authority."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

"I need to clone myself."

'Does anyone else have any complaints?'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

"It's a 670 page questionnaire on how to cut back on unnecessary bureaucracy!"

Who's In Charge Here?

'Looks like Kryson is no longer in the inner circle.'

"It's the new man - he wants to know what the company retirement plan is."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

Suggestion box, one for suggestions and one for 'clean' suggestions.

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

'They no longer take suggestions but they do offer tissues.'

Suggestion box paper shredder.

'This is about the poster isn't it?'

'No, we don't have casual Fridays, but we do have casual Saturdays, for employees who can't finish their work during the regular work week.'

'The problem is, you don't take enough pride in your temporary, no benefit, below living wage job!'

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

"You do understand that I can only offer you a zero hour contract?"

'You're getting that office with windows you've always wanted - you'll be working from your cart in the parking lot with a laptop.'

"We've increased job satisfaction. Now let's focus on productivity."

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

Sign on office wall says: 'Mustn't grumble.' Employee says: 'You have to admit, it's not much of a mission statement.'

'It's the perfect job if self-respect isn't a factor.'

'A living wage implies you have a life outside the office. We're not in favor of that.'

I Love This Job...Its Just The Commuting I can't Stand.

"Please hold my calls."

"As long as you insist that we hire executives smarter than you, how about we get ones that smell better, too?"

"Miss Caldwell, write twenty letters, make five Xerox copies of each, feed the whole lot into the shredder, and then, if it's five o'clock, you may go home."

"Cutting the budget is easy!...All you need to do is get rid of all that wasteful admin...what do they do!"