Businessmen Gifts

"It's a symbiotic relationship. I feed him seeds and berries, and he pecks out the eyes of my enemies."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Five hours of tough negotiation and you blow it by wagging your tail too soon!'

"On the other hand, he never takes a sick day."

"Thanks for the invite, but I prefer to collaborate by myself."

'There's a thin line between thinking outside the box and a caffeine-induced wacko idea.'

'Yes, I understand your pricing strategy, but since I'm likely to be your only customer today, what about a big discount?'

Man watching a flower slowly wilt, and just as its about to die he waters it

Time, temperature, and corporate ethics readings.

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'All those who think change is good, say aye...'

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'Take one the moment you begin to feel accountable.'

"Your last job sounds terrible."

"Well we'd value the company at either £24 million. . . less than £100,000 or somewhere in between. But we wouldn't want you to hold us to that."

Boss about employee: 'He has a spark of genius, but he also has ignition problems.'

'Well, technically speaking, we do have a conscience...'

"OK, people! What's wrong with this picture?"

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

'Don't fret about that Kingdom of Heaven stuff - you would obviously liquidise the camel first.'

"I'm tired of being chained to myself twenty-four hours a day."

"One word, gentlemen: China."

'I said all those in favour of improving communication, turn off your iPods.'

'Time management begins with the assumption that time will move slow enough to be managed.'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

"If you are amenable to that offer, I am prepared to respond with this facial expression."

'It's called 'Creative Accounting'.'

'Next time, Featherton, I'd like to see your sales projections without the clouds.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

"That's what I like about you Hubert - you're not afraid to fail."

Where does a self-made man get replacement parts?

"Personally, I just let my conscience be my guide..."

People keeping their heads in the sand!