Businessmen Gifts

"It's a symbiotic relationship. I feed him seeds and berries, and he pecks out the eyes of my enemies."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Five hours of tough negotiation and you blow it by wagging your tail too soon!'

"On the other hand, he never takes a sick day."

'There's a thin line between thinking outside the box and a caffeine-induced wacko idea.'

"Thanks for the invite, but I prefer to collaborate by myself."

'Yes, I understand your pricing strategy, but since I'm likely to be your only customer today, what about a big discount?'

Time, temperature, and corporate ethics readings.

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

Man watching a flower slowly wilt, and just as its about to die he waters it

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"Your last job sounds terrible."

'Take one the moment you begin to feel accountable.'

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'All those who think change is good, say aye...'

Boss about employee: 'He has a spark of genius, but he also has ignition problems.'

"Well we'd value the company at either £24 million. . . less than £100,000 or somewhere in between. But we wouldn't want you to hold us to that."

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

'Well, technically speaking, we do have a conscience...'

"OK, people! What's wrong with this picture?"

'Time management begins with the assumption that time will move slow enough to be managed.'

"I'm tired of being chained to myself twenty-four hours a day."

"One word, gentlemen: China."

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

'Don't fret about that Kingdom of Heaven stuff - you would obviously liquidise the camel first.'

"If you are amenable to that offer, I am prepared to respond with this facial expression."

"Personally, I just let my conscience be my guide..."

People keeping their heads in the sand!

Where does a self-made man get replacement parts?

'It's called 'Creative Accounting'.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'Next time, Featherton, I'd like to see your sales projections without the clouds.'

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

'It's called playing. Provides one with a sense of accomplishment - without actually accomplishing anything.'