Businessman/officer T-Shirts

"Tough noogies, chief - you forgot to call 'Reserved' when you left your desk."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Occu-Pie Mars

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Killer Executive Suits.

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."