Business Trainers T-Shirts

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

How leaders fail

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."