Business Trainer T-Shirts

'See how much easier it is when we all work together.'

Motivational backup speakers

Teamwork

Punch and Judy Sales Conference

'So I'll be meeting you all later on.'

'Thank to you I'm more efficient

'Can you call back later? I think I have a more interesting call on another line.'

'Any questions?'

Good Customer Service

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

School of Salesmanship

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

"Look out, we've an urgent 'problem!' or, urgent 'challenge!'...Which word should Joyce correctly use team?"

"Yeah! Okay you guys - let's do this!"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

British savings accounts

"My email is down... talk to me."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'