Business Theorist T-Shirts

'Count me in... but don't count me in.'

"Bankers have had a bad press..."

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

"Jenkins, I've turned your job into customer self service."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

US v.s. Tech Giants

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Target your customer.

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'I'd like to explain my ideas for economy within the company.'

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

"Good question: When can you see your families?"

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

Worked Well In Groups...

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."