Business Satire Fans Pillows

CEO Bonus - 'Those in favor of my exhorbitant bonus say 'aye'. Those opposed say, 'Good heavens, I've been shot!'

"I see high school, college, and business school, but I don't see obedience school."

"Before each of you, you will find a bitter pill and a glass of water."

Executive Washroom - "It must feel wonderful - I've never been headhunted."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"The board of directors has given me new powers."

"Cushman, we've decided to take you off of Sales and put you on unemployment."

"That's the OLD drill, Pete. In the new one, I throw the ball and YOU fetch!"

'Well... something makes me think that you want a raise, Mr Johansen...'

'A good thing about our decline in fortune is, we're no longer plagued with industrial spies!'

Sex Vending Machine.

Cut-throat Environment

Brain Theft

"The firm needs LEADERSHIP, does anyone have any ideas?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Lethal Presentation

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'