Business Predictions Gifts

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

Business is off the chart.

"I love your optimism."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"Oh, I can't complain"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"It will be all your fault."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

City Redundancies - In? Out?

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

'Well they often get it wrong.'

U.S. Manufacturing - Good News & Bad News

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"