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Business Advice

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

Target your message

"I think your going to need a business plan."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?'

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

"Is it too late for me to stop poo pooing his expansion plan?"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

No - None sense, take-charge, inc. - Formerly: Happy-go-lucky, inc.'

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

Businessman at the deep end.

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'Here is my proposal for making our department more productive. The proposal contains my best cognitive distortions.'

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

"I strongly feel we need to start thinking inside the box again."

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

Business plan.

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'

'Let's make it cutting edge...with a traditional feel.'

"Your entire business plan is to get a loan from me?"

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

"I said, 'Don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' That's when he called my bluff."

"So what do you really think of my business plan?"

"Remember, we've got to dig down together as a team to create the right foundation that will benefit this entire project as a hole."

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

'I've studied the issues, reviewed the facts, considered all the alternatives and decided 'The hell with it'.'

New initiatives

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

'Did you finish the business plan and out look for the next five years?'

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'