Business Opportunity Skeptic Pillows

'Haven't I seen this 'once in a lifetime' business opportunity before?'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Stock market investment advice

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

"Multi-level marketing!"

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

Cold caller.

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

Guide to Working Class Investing

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

'Perhaps we would be better off with fewer fans on Facebook and Twitter, and more on Visa and Mastercard!'

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

Sales company

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."

Headphones Strip 18: Shared profits

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

'Hi Mr Miller, this is the employee opinion poll. Here's the question: 'Do you love your job, your boss and the company?' For answer A, 'Yes, I do and I want to do much more unpaid overtime', please press 1. For answer B, 'No, I don't and you can fire me'