Business Norms Pillows

Causally dresses interviewee

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"Great coffee, Carole."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

Victorian woman at a bar.

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"Hurry up with that cork!"

Compete with This

I guess I just assumed we'd skip Take your child to work day this year. Chips.

"Sorry, these are saved."

"Gentlemen, this has materially changed the way we grease palms."

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."