Business News Junkie T-Shirts

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

'She was quoted on CNBC's 'Squawk on the street.''

"I've been working remote so long I didn't know my company has been bought and sold three times."

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Trump pardons

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Away with the warmonger!"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

The economy.

Difference of Opinion

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Studies show foods work miracles!

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

CIA report

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'