Business Jargonist T-Shirts

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

Terms and conditions on the mount

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

GDP and G&T.

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

"That wasn't daydreaming; I was internalizing my goal targeted self performance metrics."

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

Digital Marketing

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

"As I mentioned before, Fassler, you'll never go anywhere until you start using 'impact' as a verb."

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

"Boss, I didn't understand your memo. It reads 'W.U.W.T.M.S.A.' What does that mean?"

"Yes, but...will it scale?"

"Apropos your request for a salary increase, we're going to have you appraised."

"Would you stop quoting Sir John Harvey Jones!"