Business Gurus Pillows

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

"It's time to monetize fetching."

'Here's a psychological phenomenon in which shareholders actually sympathize with management. It's called the Stockholder Syndrome.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

The MBA Draft

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Career opportunities

"Uh-Oh..."

When Engineers Crack.

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

Early Business Planning

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

"I think you might need to start again."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

Multimedia-Conglomerate-Tasking

Standard & Poor

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

Target your message

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'The company's in great shape financially. Hey, a bent but still usable staple!'

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'