Business Ethicist Pillows

'I'd like you to check my core values.'

"OK, spare me the lecture! Just tell me where I can buy one of those conscience things I've been hearing about and how much it'll cost!"

'Remember the old days when all we had to worry about was moral bankruptcy?'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"Your resume states you come equipped with a bulging sack of virtues and a complete set of scruples."

"I guess our moral GPS malfunctioned."

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"It's simple enough, Langdon, but I'll explain again. To help pay off the debt that we incurred when we bought this company, we've sold some of you into slavery."

Today's Special: Scruples

"Loyalty to our customers? I'm afraid you've lost me."

Nepotism

"Do executives have double standards?"

'I can't lie to you, but I'll get someone who will.'

'Not to toot my own horn, but I'm widely considered to be the spiritual godfather of all the corrupt, arrogant, obscenely overpaid and ultimately disastrous CEOs so prevalent in the past hundred years!'

Ethics - Accounting

'You have to admire his honesty.'

'Fair Business Bureau, Good Business Bureau, Better Business Bureau.'

Business men: 'I try to live each day as if it's my last.'

'You US firms think that money can buy everything...but what price an you put on loyalty, integrity, how could you compensate me for losing my friends?'

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

Water company bonus.

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'