Business Chatters Pillows

'This is the crib phone. You have the wrong extension.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"Any questions?"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

Office temperature.

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

"I hear you may do a baby."

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

You said you wanted to speak to the chairman of Zapco Steel - I've just realised that's me.

'We need to boost our earnings by giving our earnings a boost.'

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

Manager - I don't just manage, I excel!

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"At the end of the day, Maureen, wake me up."

Boss to employee: 'You think you've got burnout? Are you sure it's not dry rot?'