Bureaucrat Banter Enthusiast Gifts

"It could be worse, the new cabinet does want to make the public aware of social workers roles."

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

Wolf Reintroduction.

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

MI5 Press Office

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

God's Office.

Director: US Space Research.

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

Auditor General.

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

Washington Monuments

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

A dart board for the Federal Reserve's planning policy?

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

'You like it? I'm getting a government grant for Phase 2.'

Man at desk in 'Space research'. His in and out boxes are labelled 'inner' and 'outer'.

"We have all kinds of Regulatory Guidelines floating around."

"Now that we can talk, we have to have meetings."

Federal Department of Disproportionate Force.

"I'd like to buy your subscription list to check for changes of address."

'Do you want to see the folks from Prague all at once?' - 'No - separate Czechs, please.'