Bureaucracy Comedians Gifts

Bureaucratic Procedures

I.D. required for admission to Heaven

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Quality Control

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

Wolf Reintroduction.

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

Excessive Paperwork

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

God's Office.

Bureaucratic castle

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

Department of Infrastructure

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

Insufficient Postage

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

'I'm sorry, sir, this is the department of Immediate Dissatisfaction. Your appointment is with the Bureau of Eternal Frustration.'

'Of course you don't remember agreeing to see me regarding my time machine. You made the appointment next week.'

A dart board for the Federal Reserve's planning policy?

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

'You like it? I'm getting a government grant for Phase 2.'

Man at desk in 'Space research'. His in and out boxes are labelled 'inner' and 'outer'.