Bureaucratic Humorist Gifts

'Once you get the hang of it, crisis management is fairly straightforward.'

A dart board for the Federal Reserve's planning policy?

'Okay, okay. Rolling, you can be the assistant Directing Chairman. Smith, you'll be the Resident Vice-Chancellor Emeritus. And Rothstein, you're the Head Executive Supervising Associate Dean. Settled?'

God's Office.

Census - how many people living at your address? 'One, if you can call it living'.

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

'You'll need to fill out this w-9 tax form before the tooth fairy can leave any money.'

There are no accidents. At least, that's what Constable Bob believed. Too much paperwork.

'Miss Cobb, where's my large gouge?

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

Wolf Reintroduction.

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

Excessive Paperwork

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

Bureaucratic castle

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

Insufficient Postage

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

'I'm sorry, sir, this is the department of Immediate Dissatisfaction. Your appointment is with the Bureau of Eternal Frustration.'

'You like it? I'm getting a government grant for Phase 2.'

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

Man at desk in 'Space research'. His in and out boxes are labelled 'inner' and 'outer'.

'We've been looking into absences at our meetings and it turns out that Nigel died in 2006 and Trevor never actually worked here!'

"We have all kinds of Regulatory Guidelines floating around."

10/03/17 14:03