Bureaucracy Booster Pillows

'I promise none of your money will go for administrative costs.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'What's wrong now?'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Time for More Paperwork

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

The Buck Never Stops.

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Useless information"

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."