Bureaucracy Navigator Pillows

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

Hospital - Intensive Billing Unit.

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

'We're trying to resolve your reimbursement issue or, at the very least, create another one for you.'

Tax office in/out boxes read: Ask a silly question/Get a silly answer.

The day the government stepped in to ensure our water was safe.

'I'm just filing a grievance.'

'Get ready, the next wave of paperwork is washing in.'

"No, this is the department for obfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...you want the department for sophistry, incomprehension, fudging and evasiveness!!"

"The gov't has approved operations abroad..."

"We had to cancel your appointment because you haven't finished filling out your forms and we're closing now."

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'If you don't follow the instructions on handling complaints precisely then the shredder gets blocked and it's a bugger to clean!'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"No this is reception registration - fill out this form and we'll let you know when a receptionist is available."

"Simplified application form? This IS the simplified application form..."

In/Out.

The new, re-designed, shorter tax return form.

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

'Roy, some of these claims are ones I inherited when I came to work here fifty years ago, and which I left when I retired.'

Offering in service courses to make our staff more adept at math and science sounds like a good idea. Let me run it by legal.

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"The doctor has every possible insurance form, but we're not prepared to handle cash."

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules around here. But I'd be happy to connect you with any number of people who think they do!"

"Our first target is to work out what our target is."

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

Bureaucratic Delays

"Is it legal for 'Bringing in the Sheaves' to be the on hold music at the Department of Agriculture?"

Suck with a dispute!

"The board gave me a cancellation then a postponement and now a continuance."

IRS. You didn't get a refund because you didn't include a self-addressed envelope.

Life not only rained on my parade, it fined me for not having a parade permit.

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants.

'May I take two giant steps?'