Bureaucracy Buster Pillows

"Are you sure this is the correct way to declassify documents?"

The Office Black Hole

We find this model works better for us!

Can you do another draft of this? There's still a couple of sentences people might understand

"There, that's better" - customer focus.

'...Therefore, we're in complete compliance with all federal guidelines.'

"We're ready to begin the next phase of keeping things exactly the way they are."

'I have no idea how you died, we don't have access to your medical records."

'Medicare part C provides care for the headaches caused by parts A, B and D.'

"The company lacks leadership, we need to think about the possibility of setting up a policy group to look at the option of a sub-committee to prepare a discussion paper on the problem."

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

Department of Town Planning.

'According to the hospitals new electronic patients records system he's pregnant.'

"Performance management...jump!"

Man at complaints window gets redirected to the next window.

'There's really no need for confusion with this Medicare stuff. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in the instructions quite clearly says ... '

'Institute for the study of innovative ways to get government grants'

'I'm afraid, unless you can show proof you're employed by God, I'll have to deny this claim.'

Bereaucracy kills.

'I assume you have documentation to back up these 27 light-years of business travel.'

'Susan, hold all calls for the next six hours. I'm trying to comprehend the Affordable Care Act.'

Here are the latest strategic proposals on 'managing the paperless office'.

"I attend meetings therefore I am."

'They're draft outlines on how to run a paperless office.'

"If you're really disciplined, you can get through all the paperwork in a 50 hour week..."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'It says, the board HAS agreed to allocate those extra funds you requested.'

Information in, delay, & never out.

'Call me crazy, but I think my paperwork is actually following me.'

'Poor soul. Beaten down by peer reviews.'

"Under new business: Peterson, at Hammond Point Beach, reports that a person in the water is flailing about and calling for help. Peterson wants to know what action, if any, he should take."

Report suggests social workers spend 60% of their time on admin - "Do you remember when all wehad to worry about was client care?"

'Oh...Mostly because we can. Now do you want to get your car registered or not?'

"It's the latest Government guidance on 'managing paperwork for small businesses'"

"I hope this makes it clearer?"