Bunny Whisperers T-Shirts

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Children's Parties

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Licensed Therapist

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Barks in code.

'The child is very illogical'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'Bert's dog training.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Canine Companion

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."