Puppy Whisperer T-Shirts

'Patience, consistency and treats are really great training tools...and they work well with dogs, too.'

"I never really needed obedience school, … It was more of an obedience seminar."

Man and dog.

"Hey, we're working our asses off here!"

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"They're free, but they ain't easy."

"The dog sent me a text, I think he needs to go out."

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

I have to go, dummy!

'What have you got in there, home-made fudge?'

The Dog Botherer.

"He likes to say I'm trained, but I'm really just humoring him."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Licensed Therapist