Bumper-to-bumper Philosopher T-Shirts

Express the bumper-to-bumper philosopher's love for deep thoughts with our clever t-shirts. Perfect for wearing their wisdom and humor proudly wherever they go.

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'Why is it called rush hour when no one rushes anywhere?'

'Why is it called rush hour when no one rushes anywhere?' mockup

'Why is it called rush hour when no one rushes anywhere?'

from $19.00

Heavy traffic on a highway passes under a sign that reads "The Salt Mines".

Heavy traffic on a highway passes under a sign that reads "The Salt Mines". mockup

Heavy traffic on a highway passes under a sign that reads "The Salt Mines".

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'The good thing about one way streets, is you can only get hit from the rear.'

'The good thing about one way streets, is you can only get hit from the rear.' mockup

'The good thing about one way streets, is you can only get hit from the rear.'

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'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?' mockup

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

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"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything." mockup

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

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"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust." mockup

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

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'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.' mockup

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

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"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane." mockup

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

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Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon. mockup

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

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Future Tents

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'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.' mockup

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

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Hamlet in the craft shop.

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"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are." mockup

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

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'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.' mockup

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

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Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks. mockup

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

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'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?' mockup

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

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'How did he make the world in six days?'

'How did he make the world in six days?' mockup

'How did he make the world in six days?'

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"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?" mockup

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

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Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit. mockup

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

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The Meaning of Life

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Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'. mockup

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

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KNITEO ERGO SUM!

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Chicken: the one-man show

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"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

from $19.00