Building Buffs Pillows

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

Earthquake Research Centre

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Caution: Construction workers standing around and drinking coffee.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'The buildings are merging.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

"Don't be ridiculous. If the wheels were round, you'd never be able to stop."

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

Newton discovers surrealism

The Pocket Knife Tool Belt

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

"What's it like, working with your hands?"

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.