Builder Buff Pillows

'It took you three years to build it. I'll have it down in 15 minutes.'

Safety - "Don't tick off Tiny."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Muscles

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"I told him he should have trained more."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Caution: Construction workers standing around and drinking coffee.

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'The buildings are merging.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

Igloo sales

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'