Buffet Binger T-Shirts

"I prefer working remotely, except when there's a free lunch."

RIP: All-you-can-eat buffets did me in!

So much for a bird's appetite!

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Don't you love these all you can eat buffets?'

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

Am Awful Crammer.

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

Happy hour.

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

Sinking Sand

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

Wordplay: Me.

S. S. All You Can Eat

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"It's 100% commercials."

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

PIG OUR Buffet...All you can eat served in a trough!

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

'Following this brief financial report, there will be a buffet for you to enjoy.'