Budgie Breeder Pillows

'The budgie's been working out with weights again!'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

Puppies

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'You reek of crackers.'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Good, but not Great Danes.

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

Dog Calenders.

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

An inbred poodle.

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"They were bred originally to be hors d'oeuvres."

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

Botox sharpei

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'