Budget-savvy Strategist Pillows

"If I could afford a plane, I'd hire a plane."

Proletariat Steak

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

"Boss, I have a suggestion for you that's win-win. It'll save you thousands of dollars in health insurance premiums... If you pay to have me cryogenically frozen and then thawed every other day, I'll get to live to be 180, and you'll get an employee who's young and productive for the rest of your life."

"I need nothing and I want everything."

'What happens when we run out of gas?!'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'We just drive by and throw candy and stuff like in a parade.'

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

"We need to be extra careful about expenditure...and I thought we could save a but by having the Xmas, New Year and redundancy parties at the same time!"

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

'I simply can't live on what I earn. I can't even live on what I spend.'

"We're going to spend £5M to put over the message that our product is so good it sells itself!"

'Budget cuts have forced NASA to find alternative training methods.'

Free long distance

'It's similar to the government's system of checks and balances. I write the checks and you try to balance them.'

You belong to a tightwad club? Our time has come. For years we met in private, shunned by society. Thanks to the economy, we're hip. We can celebrate our frugality in front of the whole world! Bad time to ask for a raise. I am chinchy, hear me roar!

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

Has somebody taken the staff development and training budget again?"

'It says take all your medication,if you can afford it.'