Budget Home Enthusiast T-Shirts

"No wonder it was so affordable."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

The spend is high

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Garage Music

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

We don't have a budget to redo the last guy's business cards, door placard, and so on, so would you mind assuming his identity in the meantime?

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'With such a tight budget we never thought it would be possible to build our dream home.'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

"We've townsized."

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

Tony Blair - EU budget.

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

Everyone waited as Allen figured out how much the meal had cost per bite.

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'

"And, in suburban news, construction of the new, attached four-season solarium at 6870 Evercrest Drive continued amid the silent, seething envy of the neighbors."

No Frills Psychiatrist.

Government Shutdown

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

Oval Office Reflection

Gregor Samsa III, who doesn't go out much, calls in a large order to the shopping channel.