Budget-conscious Property Seekers Pillows

"I have an app that alerts me when I'm delusional about be able to afford a property."

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

Garage Music

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"No wonder it was so affordable."

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'I need to get a bigger place.'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

Mr. & Mrs. Putty get dream home.

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"And you thought I couldn't find Hudson River views in your price range."

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

'When you said view of park, you didn't say it was a CAR park!'

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

"If this is a bit beyond your budget then I've got a shoebox coming available next week!"

'This is great, I'll take it.'

Whatever you're thinking of buying, we promise to make you feel slightly inferior.

'They've got everything...one even has it's own shed.'

“Can you show us something that will make our friends envious, but not too envious?”

Sign reads - For Sale Still Under A Million.

'Yes, I know I told you only this morning that the property was within your price range....and this morning it was.'

Basic Shelter.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, sir, but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'

Wine Prices

'This is great, I'll take it.' 'This is the estate agency office.'