Budget-conscious Property Seekers Pillows

"I have an app that alerts me when I'm delusional about be able to afford a property."

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

Garage Music

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

'I need to get a bigger place.'

"No wonder it was so affordable."

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

Low income vampires.

Affordable housing

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Mr. & Mrs. Putty get dream home.

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

"And you thought I couldn't find Hudson River views in your price range."

'When you said view of park, you didn't say it was a CAR park!'

'This is great, I'll take it.'

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

"If this is a bit beyond your budget then I've got a shoebox coming available next week!"

Whatever you're thinking of buying, we promise to make you feel slightly inferior.

“Can you show us something that will make our friends envious, but not too envious?”

'They've got everything...one even has it's own shed.'

Sign reads - For Sale Still Under A Million.

'Yes, I know I told you only this morning that the property was within your price range....and this morning it was.'

Basic Shelter.

Wine Prices

Forgive me if I'm wrong, sir, but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'