Budget Bypasser Pillows

'I like unfunded mandates best - you don't have to worry about the math.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"I just..."

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Your tax $ at WAR.

Oil shock.

'Wow, my own desk!'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Expensive greeting cards.

Overdraft limit.