Budget Whisperer Pillows

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"And I like the fact that all amounts are given in 'illions' - it gives us room to maneuver."

If you put lipstick on a pig it is still a pig.

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"The cutbacks will be fierce. They'll start with the 'backroom' staff...half of finance will have to go!"

'These personalised budgets are a great idea...If claimants are going to develop the skills to manage their own budgets...they might as well have a look at ours!'

Heat this winter.

'We 'saved' 5 this month? I'm not familiar with the term.'

"Remember that robin I brought along last time and explained the comparison to your bill?"

"In India it costs £20 to support a child for a year." "We should send our kids there."

"Sorry, no raise again but would you like to register for our free seminar 'Living Well on a Shoestring'?"

"Raising the debt ceiling is a ponzi scheme!"

"If we were a business - rather than a government - we'd be bankrupt!"

"All things considered, I think our marriage has been cost-effective."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

A look into the future?!

"Look at how much money we could save if we were homeless."

'I notice you're downsizing.'

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"Why save 30% on a holiday deal if we can save 100% if we stay at home?"

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

Goschen's National Debt Conversion Bill

How to do without

"The Good news is that we cut a few corners, used clipart and brought the campaign in under budget!"

"Okay - you give us our super rich tax breaks and we will give you unemployed benefits."

'75% of our resources are spent dealing with the elderly and infirm...and that's just the STAFF!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"