Budget Battler Pillows

Jerry was found catatonic in the break room after being told his project budget was cut in half and timing reduced by 2 months.

Fries and kids

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

'Don't say. You didn't get your budget approved.'

buck stops here-taxes...mine

'Your teacher was laid off, so I'll be your substitute. Today I'll be teaching economics.'

'Maybe I could win more budget fights if we had a plan to arm us school administrators.'

"If the board cuts our budget any more, I'm going to have to start stealing the kids' lunch money."

The great credit crunch of 2008.

Moaning makes you a magnet for other moaners..

'So how have the cuts affected you?'

Gas Bill...Council tax...Credit card.

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

I'm not overweight , I just have a heavy management infrastructure.

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

Next Shutdown

"...And thanks to our new budget, class sizes are a low 40:1 ratio!"

Social Services held back by risk, unrealistic targets and budget cuts.

'You've had everything else, so I suppose that now you want blood.'

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

Credit card repayments are for life, not just for Christmas.

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

'You want my husband. He's the chairperson of the living-beyond-our-ways-and-means committee.'

"I'm telling you, we already cut the fat."

Below the Belt

"Our perks and massively generous pensions don't sit comfortably with my conscience...sacrifices will have to be made!"

"On second thought, maybe our joint account was a bad idea."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"You do have your own way of enjoying the garden, don't you?"

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'