Budget Balancer Pillows

'Today's financial report will be a short one: We had money, now we don't.'

'It's amazing how little a thousand dollars will buy these days.'

'The government announced that to reduce the budget deficit, it will move the decimal two points to the left.'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

Economics made simple.

"Well, for this amount we could do you a nice word-of-mouth campaign!"

Sacrifices.

'It's broke. I could fix it, but then you'd be broke.'

'No cuts in Medicare!'

Wanting to save his parents thousands in orthodontic costs, Lyle makes braces for himself in metal shop.

NHS targets.

"So how are the cut-backs affecting your department?"

"Don't think of yourself as just another small cog in a vast bureaucratic machine.. but rather as a quite important cost centre."

After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!

"This is our needs assessment, and you'll notice on the back that I've also attached our wants assessment."

Debt - Restructured Debt

'And this I take it is the bookkeeping department.'

'What we need is a tax on stupid ideas. The revenue out of Washington alone would balance the budget in two years.'

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

"I don't have a budget at this time, but I can offer you some really great social-media exposure."

"Well, according to the books, you've got too much overhead"

"Someday this will all be yours!"

"We can pay off our mortgage, educate our kids, or retire at 65 - pick any two."

"Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct, they just weren't in the right order."

Farm Budget.

'If things don't improve, we'll have to close 3 plants and lay off 50 employees or ask you to live a little more simply.'

'Unless I'm misinterpreting the signs gentleman we are fast approachign the status of a non profit organization.'

The rising cost of health care (shown by the rising cost of prescription drugs)

"I said we need to get back on track - financially."

Budget House of Cards

'I did the best I could, but there's just nothing in the budget for more walks.'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'We're out of money for bailouts. We recommend that you just file for non-profit status.'

Slimming down the budget

"Is it just me or have these numbers lost their crunchiness?"