Buddy Seeker Gifts

Little boys

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

Cling-On Dog

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Business Target

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"I don't want to be alone when I'm old, either, so when we're old let's get back in touch."

"Who wants to go to the park and find me a date?"

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

Canine Grammar. Getting a Master's. Shelter Adoptions. Getting masters.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

'You have a friend request.'

'I guess the transplant went ok - I just got a love letter from my new liver!'

Signs you may be friends with a sheep....

"The depth of your wrongness is so deep that it is unknowable."

Best Pals

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.

"Now I'm well, I miss my doctor."