Buddhist Thinker Pillows

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

reincarnated worm...

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Zenemies.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Showoff"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

Buddhist photo albums,

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

Pastor's Bumper Sticker: Save the Congregation

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Hoarder."

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Give up all my possessions? Did I say Buddhist? I meant Boatist. I'm a boatist.