Buddhist At Heart Pillows

"The Dalai Llama."

"We've made great progress!"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Zenemies.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Showoff"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

Public footpath on a desert island.

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Buddhist photo albums,

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Hoarder."

Give up all my possessions? Did I say Buddhist? I meant Boatist. I'm a boatist.

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

"When was your last meta-physical?"