Buddhism Buffs Pillows

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

"Of course, that's just my opinion. Richard Gere's views may be somewhat different."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'I'm an atheist!'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

"Did you unpack your baggage yourself?"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

Om and Ommer

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."

The Pope looks through here to check out the crowd before he speaks. Ah --- The papal people peephole!

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

If I have to eat another mouthful of that sludge I'm gonna puke...

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

'You have to realise that as a potato you are a very complex carbohydrate.'

'Is it organic?'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

"The depth of your wrongness is so deep that it is unknowable."

"Did we get the line item veto?"

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

'Now let's explore your dark side.'

"Were you even listening to me? I don't have a mother to blame anything on!"