Brutal Honesty Aficionado Gifts

"I can see from your résumé that you’re not getting this job."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

'At least he's honest.'

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

The shape of things to come

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"Donny's just going through a brutalist phase."

'Why honest is the best policy...'

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

Introducing Honest Abe Cards

'What does my dad do? Anything Mum tells him.'

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

"You're not my husband."

'Hello, Mr. Harris?... This is the private eye you hired to follow your wife. I'm afraid you were right, she is sleeping with another man.'

"His acceptance speech was only 140 characterslong."

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

"Frankly, Mr. Arnold. I'm sick and tired of hearing about your pet turtle."

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

'Joe's Junk Food.' 'At least he's honest.'

'Your resume says, you are lazy, stupid, incompetent, useless, and a nitwit. You're hired, I like an honest man.'

'Dude, check it out!'

"Recycling has become the high point of my week."

Standup Pharmacist

'When I asked for your honest opinion of me, I didn't expect you to be THAT honest!'

"Nice guy...but weird sense of humor."

Supermarket canned laughter.