Broke But Bold Pillows

'I've pinpointed our problem. There's too much month left at the end of my salary!'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'Remember, you said, a change is as good as a holiday!'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

'Wake up, Jim. It's time for your break.'

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

'Hey! Kid in the blue! Where'd you get that BEER?'

'Y'know, Henderson, that's exactly the sort of thing that makes people of you as a loose cannon.'

"I like the suit, but do you have it in a smaller check?"

I'm on Break.

'Hey! †I thought we were going to make our own rules!'

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

Joe was so poor, his dog was a tumbleweed.

"I have reason to believe that you are the notorious 'graffiti granny'.."

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

The Skullsmashers gang was known for was cruel and inhuman initiation rituals.

"Today on the Godcast, what if I told you 'commandments' were more like 'suggestments?'"

Harried worker to colleague: 'It's all about vacation, vacation, vacation!'

'Ernie may look tough, but he's really a geek at heart.'

'Sir, are you regurgitating food from outside the theater?'

Hairdressing for Bald People

"Wasting time is an important part of living."

Kissing ban.

'When all else fails, try doing it the way the boss told you.'

Ask me about my thick neck.

"I hear your fix choppers."

'I need a break. What can I download that'll take an hour?'

"They tell us to walk when we're kids and want to run, but to run when you're old and want to walk!"

And you call yourself a scalper.

'Old Fred spoils that pooch of his!'